Becca's Random Moments

       It is Christmas break…..Now the word break has so many meanings to me. BUT now I know the true meaning of break! God has given me the ultimate gift of just my family. Over a week off with no extras. I get into everyday life and always have a extra kid here and there. This is the first time in a very long time that I am at 1 week and counting with just my kids. Now we sure don’t have a lot going. We have not gone anywhere.. or had any play dates, but we are content just right here. Our little family here at home. I love all my lil extras and wouldn’t change a thing but this is pretty neat!

Twas the day before Christmas and everything was certainly stirring! I know, what a cliché (sorry)….It was Christmas Eve and the kids were all ready for Christmas. The day was fun with some Christmas movies here and there. The day went on and we went to Christmas Eve service. We had a simple just us family day. There was one thing missing. The Christmas cheer. The family surrounded around and the games, soup, and laughter everywhere. My grandma! I didn’t realize how different it would be to celebrate Christmas this way. The loneliness, the heartache that came is something I can not describe. So trying so hard to make this Christmas bright was a challenge because to my little ones it was just another day at home. They had fun and the anticipation of Christmas morning was heard. But it was just another day. No loved one stopping by, no having to go anywhere and say hi. Then it brought me to I miss my brother this year. See the true thing is I only have one sibling to share this holiday w...

Simple Joys of Christmas are here. The reason for the season to be focused on. As I head into this Holiday season I am looking at the different things in life. Noticing that one thing has come to mind. My faith is stronger than ever. The way I love my God is amazing. However, many things about me as a person has changed. Things I use to love, I don’t so much anymore. Things I enjoy have changed. I look at my friends and the friends I once had something in common with have drifted. The common link is now missing. The common link may be missing but the love for each other is still great. I notice the people I thought I was friends with are no longer. I have found one of the issues that remain the constant battle in my life of those issues. It is the spread of kids I have. While my friends are going to McDonalds and playing in playing land we are doing other things beyond that in our season of life. However, I wouldn’t change a thing. I have been given the gift of motherhood by God and lo...

ROCKS!!!!! Indeed it does. For those who don’t know Club 56 is basically a youth group for 5th and 6th graders. It is a crazy, silly, and wild time. Lets face it they are preteens and they are 5th and 6th graders. They play hard. They still know how to have fun. Some of them still think girls have cooties and boys have cooties.They are all different and maturing at a different pace in life. I get the honors of working with them every Weds. night. Along side of me I get the honors to work with my cousins and a wonderful team. We are dedicated to our roles but we all choose to do it because we feel God has called us to do so. So again they are wild and I mean wild. The boys oh man do I really say more. They all (boys and girls)choose when and when NOT to listen. I cant even explain a  night with them. However, what I can say is that when we have to waste time because they are chit chatting with their neighbor or they are choosing at that moment not to listen or taking to long, they ...

Life still never ceases to amaze me. OR is it God never ceases to amaze me?! Well which ever it is I am sure to accept. Life is busy. Brandon is home and getting acclimated to High School life and football. He is doing well. However he is keeping me on my toes more than ever. A few weeks ago maybe two he hurt his ankle playing football. That was a trip to Urgent care. It is still bothering him daily. Now onto randomness. I am going to draw you a picture. NO, not literally but in your head. It is a good day. Tuesday it is. I have the two babies (they are both one) and then Courtney and Cameron. School was long for Cameron and I had made the mistake early in the day to tell the kids they start swimming lessons at 530. So all day Court wanting to get in her swimsuit and wanting to leave. We have finally have conquered most of the day. and the girls are getting ready to go home and it is 445 pm. we leave for swimming lessons and the kids have a wonderful time in the water! I pack up and c...

So the Journey we are on looks like this. Cameron needs new meds for his ADHD. He has also been diagnosed with OCD which I learned a lot about. OCD is an anxiety disorder. Something that I did not know also. So when at one time I said I think he has anxiety issues I did not know that OCD is in that group as well. I am going to try to explain this. This is Cameron and I am not sure that it follows every OCD case. For Cameron Obsessive is the object and Compulsive is the action. Thus the reason he is “stuck” on one particular thing. (Obsessed with food, bats, volcanoes, weather, tornados, etc.……..) The compulsive is his action the constant talking, watching, etc..  The other issue with this is that if you draw a circle and put a line 3/4 of the way through on the small section put thinking and big section put emotion. When Cameron as I say his world gets rocked.(to many people, something didn’t go as planned, something happened) The thinking portion goes away and all emotion takes ov...

  So on this date I wrote this last year. I remember this day very clearly and it was a Friday. I remember the pain, the sobbing, the loneliness, and of course the heart ache. I remember no one understanding and the voice I was trying to listen to and not the people. We are now 1 year 4 days later and I am so glad I listened to that voice. I am so glad that I relied on God and He guided us in this process every step of the way. This was the blog I wrote the day I first called Project PATCH and started the process for Brandon to leave home. It took a total of a month and 8 days from start to finish we drove down that dirt road and dropped our child off. As we drove away wanting to turn around ever mile we went. So emotionally exhausted we drove an 1 1/2 hours and got a hotel. I laid there and cried myself to sleep in seconds. The harsh reality the hardest thing I have ever had to do. The real reality the best decision we ever made. We are now rejoicing that our son gets to come hom...

     The walk in my life is simplicity. Perfectly humble in all that comes my way. Catch up time. Brandon is coming home. Well by now everyone knows so good deal! We are almost to out answers with the Autism Center. Stay tuned for a blog update. The appointment is the 18th. I am going to it with open eyes and and open heart for whatever may or may not come. Courtney has a funky little eye. We go to the special eye doctor in Bellevue next week.    VBS wrap up. It went well with some glitches but of course God is control and he helped us right through them. It was a long week of being at the church from 8am until 6-7 pm everyday. I had children having small and huge breakdowns, above all we conquered strong. I very much look forward to doing it again next year. Camp next week, WOW I think maybe I am ready. I know it will be a long fun week with a whole bunch of 4th, 5th , and 6th graders. I love being able to be a huge part of that and it wouldn’t be possi...

   We had our big appointment yesterday! The one that was anticipated for a long time coming!!! We went to Children’s Autism Center. It is a part of the Children’s Hospital in Seattle. We met with the doctor there and spent 2 hrs. in her office. She was quite nice. I guess I didn’t expect anything different. The main stream prognosis is more evaluation. She said she sees the concerns and understands the concerns. She wants the clinical Psychologist team to do further evaluation on him. She has also asked that we get genetic testing done.  We will be doing all of this with him. The testing will be done here soon and one of the test takes about 4 weeks to get back. It will be about 3 or 4 months before we can get into our next evaluation. We are on the right path and the door was not closed. That was great news for us. Great news that she could see  some of the issues as well. We are still on a journey but then again will the journey ever be over? I am frustrated that ...

This was written while we were on our way to pick up Brandon on Friday…………….. 191 miles away from Boise! 7:42 pm. We stopped ate and now listening to some Lionel Richie……and Carly Simon. Yes, you saw it correct. Your so Vain and a little bit of Hello and Truly!! Man talk about old school. However my daughter can pelt out Your so Vain, Not sure that is something I should brag about or not. Oh well it is what it is, right?! We are in Oregon somewhere, almost to La Grande we are going to stop for a quick gas and potty break. However, we are driving along this beautiful river. We have been through the dessert and now in some beautiful mountains and wooded areas. Green and beautiful. So about a half hour ago we were climbing the mountains and boom A deer. I always wondered how people hit deer and they say it came out of no where well now I know, This deer came out of absolutely nowhere and came across the hwy so fast. The people braked and no one hit her. Thank heavens. Well it climbed up t...

    I have stayed away from my blog for a while. Fear of the unknown, fear of saying something wrong, fear of who read this and so on. Fear, something that shall not overcome me. I am not even sure where to begin or if I should even begin. All I know at this moment is nothing is what I thought it would. I am very naïve. hmmmm never thought I would say that. I thought I was pretty witty, and well rounded. All though I have very few family that reads this which is probably a good thing however I can be candid about my scattered thoughts. I have a mutual acquaintance ( I really dislike that term) an old friend is a better way to put it who is in Harborview and probably not going to make it through the night. I have another friend who just lost her beloved brother. Then I have my most precious Grandma who is going to be with Jesus real soon. My heart is heavy and hurts. I hurt for my loss but most of all that my Daddy is losing his Mommy. I see all her kids with her all my Au...

  Thought I had seen it all. Well at least at the UC I thought I had. So it is Tuesday night and we have just got back from picking up our car. I was sick of Tyler being sick. About a month ago Mike took Tyler to the Dr. and she said he just had a cold. Well Mike just said okay and we went on. Tyler has had a cold for months. He complained of a headache a few nights before this and was always complaining of being hot. On a split decision I told Tyler lets go. He was all about not going for sure. We get to UC and there are just a couple people there. This is where the “movie” I thought I was in started playing out. There was a young man was checking in and he had quite the cut. Then in walks a woman and a 1 yr old. She looks as though she is dying and said she had passed out and the pain is horrible. He neighbor brought her in. Then in walks another man. and another, and some more. One was a little boy in a wheel chair and the big sister is furious that they are there. She made it k...

    Inspirations!! I just had a random thought on inspirations. I am sitting here listening to the quiet of night and all the kids went to bed. My Laptop playing beautiful music and had a thought on inspiration. Do you ever have that friend or person in your life that gives you inspiration. I know I do. I actually have a few. every friend brings something to the table that inspires me about them. I had a friend, we are estranged (would that be the correct term? meaning we no longer talk) now, that inspired me big time.  It has been over a year and half. However, she did inspire me. As I was sitting here I was really missing her tonight for some reason. Random talks! When we stopped talking a huge weight of burdens lifted off my shoulders. However I still miss some of the attributes brought by her friendship. She seemed to be my motivation for a lot of things including cooking. She inspired me when we talked about food. I have lost all interest in cooking and I don’t ...

      I am so tired…..anybody else that way? All the time. Yet I still seem to manage my job as a Mom and care taker. So my schedule is still nuts but I truly see endings in some of it in sight. WHEW,  It is official I have pulled Cameron out of school and he will be “homeschooled” through WAVA. All paperwork is signed and District transfer in and complete!!! I do remember saying NO WAY, NOT ME, NEVER……Folks I am telling you never say never…….That is killer. Everything I say never at I end up doing. Maybe everything I want I should say I will never do. Think it could work?? I am very excited about this new journey with Cameron… Now if Children’s would just call we will be set.       All my extra children next year are all part time, with the exception of one who may be full time but I think we can make this work and be very successful at it. I am excited as always even though I am so tired and exhausted and need SUN, for these co...

      Love it is a pretty strong word. With that word comes a lot of emotions. Feelings of happiness, sadness, anger, contentment. So this weekend at the retreat was kind of hitting home to me. It is funny the question, Who are you? Isn’t that what I seem to blog on quite a bit. So brings back to Love and the most awesome love of all…..God’s. Many words to describe His love and the ladies came up with some wonderful ones. Mine always seem to be….. Merciful, graceful, unconditional, worthy, treasured. I am sure there hundreds more. For us and for Him. I always write about God’s grace. Why? simple answer, His grace sustains me. It is what I feel so compelling about our God. Wouldn’t you say His grace is enough? Some may say no but to me it is sustaining. That is in part to faith I suppose. Faith: is the confident belief or trust in the truth or trustworthiness of a person, concept or thing. Our faith is what keeps us going day to day. Our faith is what gives us ho...

    I hope that you all have a wonderful Mother’s day full of many blessings to come your way. As Mothers we are truly blessed. God gave us children to mold and shape. As children of God we were given the ultimate gift by God. His grace, His unconditional love, and His son. He also gave us another “ultimate'” gift as a mother. Children!!! I have been blessed four times over and loving every minute, and every sacrifice I have to make for them. Ladies, we are truly blessed in every way!! Love those babies and treat yourself to one thing nice today!

       Aha! Had you at the line. So you say why is today the the day? Actually, no reason! Today is the day of the rest of our lives. Every minute that goes by we don’t get it back. We get older and it is one step closer to fulfilling our dreams and one minute closer to meeting our maker. It is spring, and the spring fever has hit harder this year than any other. The cold, the rain, the cold, the rain, the cold, the rain. I think I have said my peace there. It sure was nice to get out in the sunshine for a few minutes yesterday afternoon with out shivering freezing. Our dearest Father we would love to see some warm weather our way! AMEN          I think with our patients of the weather we may be in for a blessing of a Summer. Hmmmmmm I believe at some point I said that last year as well. Last summer was anything but a blessing although we had a couple handfuls of BEAUTIFUL days. We are long over due for some warmth a...

  My oh my where has the time gone. I still have Boise post to make and the week update with Brandon home. Who knows I may never get that far. Needless to say we had a fully packed and great time in Boise with Brandon at PATCH. They surely kept us busy. We also had a wonderful week here with him home for the week.     To all my dear sweet prayer warriors. Tomorrow is the big day. We are off to the neurologist with Cameron. No knowing what to expect but expecting something at this point. The Appointment is at Mary Bridge and am hoping for a good match for Cameron. Please pray for the doctors wisdom and discernment as we meet with her. Cameron is taking it all well he keeps telling everyone he goes to the head dr tomorrow. He seems kind of excited!! Please pray for our family tomorrow. Thank you all!!

     We flew in last night. Our trip was good and this time I remembered our tickets!! That is great news…Our plane was delayed and full. We strolled on knowing we would not sit together which of course sit by new people I didn’t care one bit. Mike on the other hand was a little more nervous. So let me give you a visual here, Picture the plane full. You are the last to board (well okay 3 people behind you)  We head to the rear of the plane and of course all you see are heads and people and everyone starring at you. So we head back and some young man (20ish) is trying to come back. He looks at me and says “its open seating”  ……my thoughts well duhhhhhhh!! So I said. “ are you telling me there are no seats back there?” me knowing the answer as I can see……bounce back for a second to part of the moral here. When your looking all the people are in the aisle seat or window ( would you expect any different?) so I see more middle seats but he wants to come through ...

   Lets start with “Driving Lessons 101” I couldn’t figure how to title this. So the word “hey” I suppose can be a defensive word. I was driving to church yesterday and pulling out of my driveway to the right. I guess I should look to the right and I didn’t. So when I took my foot off the gas and looked there BAM just like that was a lady right in front of my car. I put up my hand and said sorry rolled down my window and “Hey I am” Well boy did I go wrong I got yelled at big time. Finally said sorry can go a long ways sometimes. Now to her defense I realized I almost just totally ran her over and I am sure her heart was racing and she was scared out of her mind. To my defense I have NEVER seen someone run on that side of the road that way and first off if you are going to run and you see a car pulling out of their driveway arent you going to make sure you make eye contact with them and make sure you see them before you run 3 inches from the grill of the car. well I suppose I w...

  Happy Friday friends! While I am finding a few moments to blog, I have two babies sleeping and two toddlers watching cartoons. Contentment in my home at the moment. By the way on a Friday this NEVER happens.          Well we have started our journeys with Cameron. Doctor approved. We spent about 45 minutes or so with the dr yesterday and was the last to leave the building. With that said I let her do all the talking and me fill in the questions she asked. While Cameron played in the background and did not disappoint me one bit. She believes it is a great idea to be on the Children’s Autism Center waiting list and is sending over the referral information now. She also increased his medication saying she does believe ADHD plays a fact but there more issues than just that and that ADHD children do not pose issues he has. We still have an appointment next week with a Psychologist but the dr said we may need to go and think “longer term” and fi...

      WOW is all I have to say. God sure has chosen a few different roads in my life that is a challenge. What a day today and yet I sit here and still can manage to smile and say “this is my life”……MAN ALIVE, I LOVE it. Even when I am in my darkest hour or my heart is breaking, I can still smile and say tomorrow is a new day.      So my latest random moment is. How many chapters do you think we have in our life time? Do you think we end chapters and start new ones? So if you think the answer is yes than is it possible to end a chapter when it has just began and start over? Well I ask because you cant erase it so it would have to be in there somewhere, just doesn’t fit in the last or next chapter.       totally random I know!        Next up, Do you think your heart can break when you don’t give it what it wants? Do you think our minds can change the way our heart feels? hmmmm I am ...

     To blog or not to blog? What to blog? All questions I ask myself. *lol*  We had a good weekend with Family this weekend. It was a nice break to also be with family flying solo. It is weird to not have my kids out there with me. At the same time it was pleasant to not have that responsibility.            So I went to Church yesterday and the sermon was interesting to say the least. Not to mention I was out of my comfort zone and sitting where I would never choose to sit. So back it up………I called someone the other day and said “I just want to be selfish” I don’t want to be selfless in this particular situation. Am I doing what God wants me to do? Absolutely NOT. At the same time I am in that position that I want to choose. I want to take that option that I have and that freedom that I have to do freedom of choice. Now really I know this is wrong and I know what I need to do but still I want to be selfish. Thi...

     The time has come once again. I have been challenged with something I don’t care to be challenged with. I am in place right now in my life of “questioning” who I am, what I am, and where I need to be. I think I know the answers but they seem so hard to make them happen. Seems like the same ole situation with me lately. I have been tried as a Christian, I have been told to an extent that is all I care about in a particular situation. So with said, Is that wrong? I should care about that. NOT true in the extent that “it is all I care about”…….It is important to me. I have this same person in my life who challenges me daily and gets on my very last nerve with the constant struggles we face. Its not all about me and its not all about her. I know what I need to do and cant find it in me to do so. I have a struggle with my heart and other things I need to do and cant seem to have enough time to face them. So here is another challenge that I have been given that I just...

     well when is all said and done and the head hits the pillow, I know I am God’s Masterpiece made to his perfections. However before my head hits that pillow my mind is going and going. All the time it never stops. I am always thinking “what can Becca do next”?…Honestly, the simple answer is nothing. I have nothing more I can put on my plate at this moment. So the next search I go to is “what next can Becca do that bigger and better”? Again the simple truth to the fact, I have no clue! I have good friend that taught me sometimes you have to give up something great for something greater. With those simple words I have lived those time after time. Now I seem to use them all the time as well. So that brings me to I will be giving up great things this year for what I am hoping is something greater. Something God has planned that I have no clue yet but there is a plan in place. He has laid it in my heart to rethink where I am and what I am doing. I am going to do my be...

       We are all on them right? Good times bad times we are all in the same world. Fighting our own battles like we are alone. But, we are not alone. The daily complications that we have others have. The loneliness, the worry, strife's, we all have it. We only think we are alone. We think because everyone else around us seems to have no problems. If we learned to just open up a little more we would be surprised at what people hold. People look at us (and I say that as “others”) and say wow, they have the perfect marriage……ummm, no one does! They have the perfect life……again, no one does! Who do you turn to when you have these worries in you life? Or when life just seems to hard to handle, whether it be with your spouse, children, friends, teachers, co-workers, bosses……….?      I turn to a couple of really good friends they always seem to have the right words or perspective. They can usually pull me some scripture to read. They are amaz...

    I need to blog. I have not blogged in a long time. I have been wanting to but at a loss on what to blog on. Friendship topic has been going on in my mind. I am not sure that is where I am going with this though.      I got some extremely difficult news today. I don’t get to go see my son in 2 weeks after all. So when I got the news, I cried, a little ummmm guess you can say baffled. Confused. Then I was thinking, you know Becca this is a good thing. Good for him and us at the same time. Then my mind starts thinking as any Mother would and your mother bear comes into play. I start questioning me as a parent, my decisions, etc.……. Then it comes into my mind as I am driving, this is not me. Why am I questioning my skills as a mother and me as a person. My integrity! You know why? My God is bigger. I need to have that faith and that undeniable trust in God that I had when I started this process with Brandon. I never doubted my decisions because my f...