Choices

     To blog or not to blog? What to blog? All questions I ask myself. *lol*  We had a good weekend with Family this weekend. It was a nice break to also be with family flying solo. It is weird to not have my kids out there with me. At the same time it was pleasant to not have that responsibility.
           So I went to Church yesterday and the sermon was interesting to say the least. Not to mention I was out of my comfort zone and sitting where I would never choose to sit. So back it up………I called someone the other day and said “I just want to be selfish” I don’t want to be selfless in this particular situation. Am I doing what God wants me to do? Absolutely NOT. At the same time I am in that position that I want to choose. I want to take that option that I have and that freedom that I have to do freedom of choice. Now really I know this is wrong and I know what I need to do but still I want to be selfish. This situation is me having a hard time choosing to love someone that I need to love because Jesus does. I need to have open arms and I want to close them. I need to have compassion and I want to have bitterness. It is tough because I know what I need to do isn't what I want to do. It cant be about me it has to be to His glory!! Right? So ask not what I can do for myself but what I can do for Him. Such a tough thing for someone to do. We all can be selfish but I am striving daily to get better at that area. SO with this conversation I had last week with someone. Mind you crying going I know what I need to do but I cant. Getting any kind of reassurance that I can overcome this problem and this feeling of “dislike” I have. She did well but it is all stuff ultimately I know I need to do. So onto the sermon, The Pastor must have been a fly on the wall because I felt like I was the only one in that service on Sunday. See Pastor was talking about Love.  Unconditional! So he says: We must understand Godly love. Choosing to act in the best interest of others even if they don’t deserve it and even if it cost us. We have to sacrifice our desire for others. It is a choice and we need to choose in the best interest of another.  I am telling  you he heard that conversation I had. This was almost the same thing except with me saying…..I don’t want to choose to be good this time. I don’t want to choose love this time. I guess I don’t get to make that choice at this time. God’s love is pure!! I will love all people as He loves us. I always have the choice but as for me I will choose to be like Him. I will choose to be a good example for others. Ultimately I will do the very best I can do to be a shining light for God!

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