Heartaches

    I have stayed away from my blog for a while. Fear of the unknown, fear of saying something wrong, fear of who read this and so on. Fear, something that shall not overcome me. I am not even sure where to begin or if I should even begin. All I know at this moment is nothing is what I thought it would. I am very naïve. hmmmm never thought I would say that. I thought I was pretty witty, and well rounded. All though I have very few family that reads this which is probably a good thing however I can be candid about my scattered thoughts. I have a mutual acquaintance ( I really dislike that term) an old friend is a better way to put it who is in Harborview and probably not going to make it through the night. I have another friend who just lost her beloved brother. Then I have my most precious Grandma who is going to be with Jesus real soon. My heart is heavy and hurts. I hurt for my loss but most of all that my Daddy is losing his Mommy. I see all her kids with her all my Aunts and my Uncle and my Dad and  see how much they are hurting. All though we come from a family of believers the pain is so tremendous. I cant take their pain away. I don’t want to show them my pain. I didn’t know how this would happen and guess somewhere I just believed she would go to bed one night and never wake. I guess I was wrong another thing learned. All I know is that we all love her so much. She gets to go see Jesus and she gets to see my Grandpa again. All of that alone is worth believing. The process will be hard for everyone. We all deal differently but one thing will remain, She was our Grandma and their Mom. She will leave behind a faithful and strong family and an incredible legacy. The days of going out to Grandma’s house will be over but the memories will always be. I want to write so much more but truly don’t know where to begin or end.