I Need…….

    I need to blog. I have not blogged in a long time. I have been wanting to but at a loss on what to blog on. Friendship topic has been going on in my mind. I am not sure that is where I am going with this though.

     I got some extremely difficult news today. I don’t get to go see my son in 2 weeks after all. So when I got the news, I cried, a little ummmm guess you can say baffled. Confused. Then I was thinking, you know Becca this is a good thing. Good for him and us at the same time. Then my mind starts thinking as any Mother would and your mother bear comes into play. I start questioning me as a parent, my decisions, etc.…….

Then it comes into my mind as I am driving, this is not me. Why am I questioning my skills as a mother and me as a person. My integrity! You know why? My God is bigger. I need to have that faith and that undeniable trust in God that I had when I started this process with Brandon. I never doubted my decisions because my faith in my God was so much bigger than anything I could ever imagine. I leaned on Him in my darkest hour. I leaned on him to lead me and guide me. I never lost that Faith, trust, and hope in Him, EVER. So why now? When did I forget to sit back and say God you are in control not me and I TRUST you. I never really did let go of all that. I just tried to gain some control back. Tried to get back in the drivers seat instead of the passengers seat. I have known the decisions we made are the very best and it is what God has willed for us. Then today I was reminded like I said while I was driving all of the sudden I said RIGHT OKAY I GET IT…….That was God reminding me HE is in control not me, and that above nothing else I needed to TRUST in Him. See I know my God is bigger and I know that he loves us so very much in the good and the bad times.

With all that said are you remembering to love and trust in God with all your heart? Are remembering to have faith? Well my heart is sad but I know God is bigger.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

He Swallowed a What??

Image
Not sure where to begin. Alright it is noon and Courtney is getting ready to take a nap and Cameron had just got in trouble so he needed to go to my room and take a rest. Court just went to bed and Cam is in my room. I sit down at the dining room table to finish some paperwork. All the sudden Cameron comes running down the hall screaming holding his throat, “I swallowed it, I swallowed it.” I said “Cameron what did you swallow?” Cameron, “ I don’t know it was silver metal, I don’t know what it is?” I am at this point going what on earth now. I can not fathom so we keep talking he gets a drink of water and coughs and says I really did I swallowed it. At this point the older boys know what he swallowed. So when we all came to the conclusion, we did in fact decide it was a battery. I try to call his doctors office but they had just left for lunch. I called poison control not sure what prompted that as I have never called them ever. The lady was wonderful on the phone and told me that if i...
Read more

I Have Missed.......

Well today was a good day. It was oh so HOT……I love it….okay well I love it as long as I can come in the house and cool off from time to time. Spent most of the day outside doing absolutely nothing except being kissed by the beautiful SUN!! My niece came over with my Great Nephew (thanks!) and we had a wonderful visit….Have I mentioned how precious he is? Cameron went to his first night at Mega Sports VBS and that was exciting for him. Tyler is camping at Dash Point with a friend. As for me and Courtney we went to Preston to go to the kids bounce place for a birthday party for Tucker. So while I was there I got to see the all the little ones I watch during the school year. Believe it or not I have missed that so much. As hard as it is to devote a day to kids all day with in reality no break can be difficult at times. Some days I was absolutely exhausted and some days I felt great. Some days were filled with happiness all day and some days I was so stressed I wanted to be done. No matte...
Read more

Safe Travel......To and From!

Travels……..So much to say and don’t know where to begin. Started my venture and decided 10 min. into the ride I was tired. I really dislike when that happens. I prayed immediately for safe travels……Thank you for those that took the time out to pray!! Travels were safe. Loud music and window down….dancing…..just to stay awake and make the run smooth. Let me first off start with I got some gas. Then I get into Puyallup and coffee is calling my name but decided hey I can wait. So what do you know……Starbucks on every corner and I wait to find the next one and NOTHING……….Keep driving, NOTHING…….Heavens to Pete I think by now I am going to die. So I am driving staying very content with the driver in front of me. A truck pulls out in front of him and he had no choice but to pass at that moment. So I got stuck behind this truck that is driving 35-40 in a 55 I finally get in a safe place to pass so I do. Of course he speeds up…..but its all good……I may like to drive fast but I do not like to pa...
Read more