Who is Becca?……..Is there a Becca here or just a Wife, Mom, and Friend?

    As I sit here on this Saturday morning listening to the children talk and laugh, I think of the past. I grew up as any little girl always wanting to be a nurse or a teacher. I was going to have the big “white” wedding and live in a big farm house with a white picket fence. Hmm sounds so familiar. None of that really happened at all. My mother died when I was 14 and when I tried to take my life 7 months later my Dad decided he could not care for me the way he should.  See I was in a part of my life then where I was lost and didn't know what to do.  See all we had was friends, they were our family. We were all together ALL the time. There was no discipline, no consistency. All of them were living the party life. The drugs, I am sure there was drinking. I really can’t remember. I was the baby of us all and besides I was “my” brothers little sister. Nobody messed with Ben’s little sister. I did though try the drugs a few times but quickly found they were not for me. I was not sure what to do with myself. I had no parents to really say the least and life was just pushing along. My thoughts were a good cry for help or you know she left me why cant I leave in the same way. Well I was 15 at this time and decided it was time. Life was interesting to say the least…..My dad worked all the time and we just took care of ourselves. There was lots of trouble all around but all our friends really did a great job to shelter me and keep me pretty naive about a lot of what was going on around me. Soon after I got to spend 3 days in the hospital I went to Cali to live with my Aunt. She did a wonderful job with me. She homed schooled me and soon learned that was not easy so I went to another ladies house for school. She fed me and I gained 30 lbs. That was really a good thing I wasn't sick like I was at home anymore. She took me to church and gave me stability. As hard as it was you know I have to say that is so what I needed. The hard part is walking into somewhere and having all you innocence gone at 15 and that person not having the ability to understand that. I was that little girl, Been there done it all. Sex, Drugs, fights…..I changed for the good while I was there. Finally I was accepted (not that I wasn't at home) and I was becoming Becca. The Becca I was so meant to be. I was a nice girl with a heart of gold. I had a love of kids and people that I can not explain. I had aspirations and goals. I got to come home when I was 16 and go to High School in WA. I did well. Stayed for the most part out of trouble. Stayed in a Drug counseling group at school once a week. Before I moved we had been in Alateen for a while. Trying any adult support we could get and know that we had a place somewhere for us in this world. I met Mike when I was 17 and dated him for a while. Broke it off with him for a while and then dated him again for a while. I found out I was pregnant with Brandon the Friday before I graduated HS. On my graduation day I was at the doctor confirming everything. They asked me what I was going to do and I said well not so sure yet. She brought me papers on abortion and I was puzzled. I said there was no way I was having an abortion I just stated I didn't know what I was going to do yet. I graduated HUGE day for me at most. Never thought I would in a million years. I also graduated with my ECEA Certificate and 500 hrs into my cosmetology schooling.Well the time has now come and gone and I look back to know as a believer there was always a plan. God always was beside me caring for me. He had His hand on me all the time. So as I get older and now married to Mike and 4 great children later. I look back at “Who is Becca?” I am a wife, a mom, a believer, a friend…….Is there a Becca somewhere in here. ABSOLUTELY…….Next blog!!!

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